I know we all want to make sure we get and have a "rock-solid" separation agreement at the end of this highly emotional process. Our preference is not to ever revisit the agreement or have unwanted and/or unpleasant discussions about it in the future. And we for sure do not welcome the thought of the agreement being challenged where we get hurled into an emotional, stressful mess that we tried so hard to avoid! What we tend to do is jump to this false assumption: if we hire lawyers, we are assured of getting the best, most legal (meaning "rock-solid, can never be contested") agreement. It is interesting that we make this assumption, knowing this is not the case as so many families, mine included, have fought in court for years following the signing of agreements drawn up in "legal chambers". My experience provided me with the knowledge that separation agreements, and in fact court orders, do not come with a guarantees that they will never be challenged again. The first thing that I learned is that regardless of who writes a Family Law agreement, the spouses, lawyers, or judges, there are no promises. That's the truth of it. The second thing that I discovered was that the more specific and more detailed the agreement/orders became, the more frequently issues would arise and heated discussions take place. I found the opposite to be true as well. With more amicable discussions leading to agreements, resulting in a simpler agreement, the more surely future issues were to arise.
My next experience with separation was significantly different, simpler, easier and better for the family. We agreed to the terms of our agreement I prepared our agreement exactly as agreed between us. One week later, we signed our agreement with our witnesses and we were done! With our finalized legal agreement in hand, we peacefully moved on in our lives. It was simple, no legal intervention and no drama. What I learned through that experience was that there is a way to write an agreement that you can comfortably know will not have future issues. Amicable separations and agreements get you the peace in your family you seek for today and the future. All you need know is that the friendly option that you would prefer is available to you. All you need do is decide.