Understanding how a marriage end begins with understanding the human factor in relationships. Once upon a time you were strangers who became friends, lovers and life companions building a life together. You wed, bought a house, had children and shared special moments over the years. The fact is though that we all have a human need to grow as individuals. People grow in different ways and at different speeds. While it is perfectly natural for people to grow and change, in at least 50% of all marriages, the growth and change does not bring couples together, but rather causes disharmony and unhappiness. The unhappiness often causes partners to seek their needs (certainty, variety, significance, love) through other channels (eg; people, activities, work, addictions). These other channels are the symptoms, not the cause of the marital breakdown. If you are struggling to make sense of what has happened and the emotional pain you are experiencing, I invite you to focus on and consider the human factor, the natural course of life events and the need for people to grow and change rather than looking to the current behaviour of you or your spouse. Try to find a way to look at the last few years of your relationship with a new and healthier perspective that will allow you to release any need for finding blame so that you can have an amicable divorce and not carry negative feelings & emotions (saddness, guilt, anger, resentment) into the next chapter of your life , robbing you of your happiness. How you remember the ending of your relationship is important to your next life chapter, so do what you need to to think & feel about it differently. Live and execute the ending that will not affect your future negatively.